THEME
posted: 3 hours ago
with: 214,537 notes
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   j

a hilarious joke

spookweedeveryday:

tanku:

three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.

why?

because the un deux trois quatre cinq

IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU 

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posted: 3 hours ago
with: 4,808 notes
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   j

lennon-in-the-sky-with-timelords:

So my cousin was in a gay pride parade and everything in her outfit and makeup was rainbow but she was wearing red contacts and while marching, a protester behind her yelled “You’re going straight to hell” and she turns around to face him with her fuCKING blood red eyes and she says “well duh, I got a kingdom to run” and the protester nearly fucking passed out that is her legacy I want to be like her

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posted: 3 hours ago
with: 8,092 notes
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   j

wailtothethief:

Fuck I’m walking downtown and I pass a group of guys staring at me and I think “great catcall time” but then one guy goes “you look like you could kill a man a million different ways with just your bare hands”. This. This is an acceptable comment to give a girl on the street.

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posted: 3 hours ago
with: 599 notes
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   j
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posted: 3 hours ago
with: 62,950 notes
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   j

bombing:

assassinboygregory:

bombing:

hey what’s up

It’s a movie about a old man turning his house into a hot air balloon

thanks

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posted: 4 hours ago
with: 28,447 notes
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   j

lost-in-icelandd:

this show is such a gift

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posted: 8 hours ago
with: 113,683 notes
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   j

socialjusticekoolaid:

What they won’t show you on CNN tonight: Ferguson residents line a parade of roses down W Florissant, leading to where Mike Brown was taken from this world. #staywoke #powerful #insolidarity 

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posted: 8 hours ago
with:


  
   j
laurenhadalife
Top 5 favourite children's movies
  1. Lion King
  2. Hercules
  3. Road to El Dorado
  4. Mulan
  5. Aladdin
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posted: 14 hours ago
with: 231,360 notes
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   j

Ask me my “TOP 5” anything!

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posted: 1 day ago
with: 81,548 notes
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   j

beyoncebeytwice:

i love how no matter how badly you fuck up benadryl cumquat’s name everyone on here still knows who ur talking about

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posted: 1 day ago
with: 211,088 notes
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   j

callieohpeee:

when i was around 5 i asked my mom why “some people were different colors” and she said “because god wanted lots of flavors” and let me tell you that was the wrong thing to say because for the next 3 years i thought god ate people when they died

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posted: 1 day ago
with: 3,481 notes
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   j

duckduckbooks:

jaffaarchfiend:

duckduckbooks:

*crawls into your lap* *grabs our face with both of my hands* *whispers* buy me books for my birthday

*whispers back* Which ones?

*screams* ALL OF THEM

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posted: 1 day ago
with: 11,297 notes
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   j

dangergays:

My boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old, 5 foot tall, Indian grandmother told me that “there are lots of men…”

I thought she was then going to say “…in the sea” but she said “…they’re like flies” and made a disgusted face.

She hates flies.

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posted: 1 day ago
with: 65,777 notes
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   j

mjwatson:

aliveandquivering:

PLEASE WATCH THE WHOLE THING

if you keep reblogging celebs dumping water all over themselves, even if you’re not, please watch this. please please please watch this.

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